Dear Fire,
I am sincerely sorry that I had to put my foot down for real this time.
Im sorry. I just can’t keep getting burned by you and rewarding you no matter what.
Yes, I can see it from your perspective and Yes I understand how I could be seen as a shitty person for not helping you.
I really hope you can forgive me.
Oh but remember!
Ms. elder is always begging, but you wouldn’t know because you tell me its silent over there.
So how am I suppose to forgive you, now that I am denying you, now that I have to race to Ms. Elder’s house.
how?
I told you this would happen and you told me no it wouldn’t. I understand your frustration, i do.
But why do keep me around? When will you come around again? When you come around again are you going to be coming from that house or have you still behaved? But how do i know that you ever behave when you don’t come around and all i know is that you can’t behave? Do you see how i have to race to Ms. Elder’s house now?
I mean how much longer do you except me to keep racing to stay alive? How much of my soul has to be burned away to keep your fire alive?
It feels like I am dying every time I kill the urge to give in to your anger.
And now look at this, writing to fire because trying to coddle fire always results in me being just a stupid white girl.
god its so sad. i hope you forgive me. i don’t understand why you cant put out the fire to understand my fire.
God i feel so used.
and because of that ms elder is an issue now.
Do you understand why i am so hurt now?
im so embarrassed.
i hope you can figure it out in hopes it doesn’t damage us, but like you say its in the past so i know i wont need to worry about you figuring it out the non-damaging way, but all i know is words and i know those words never listen to me wishing on that star.
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