hello again
In this moment I feel annoyed and honestly just completely over it.
could it be because i put makeup on and I feel completely disgusted with what i see when i look at my reflection or is it that i am starting my period soon.
Speaking of periods… I’ve had one period since my miscarriage and this should be my second one. There is such a weird relationship with me and this period. I love it and would not ever want to not have it. I feel like because society has made us believe its such a horrible time of the month, I’ve programmed my brain to think my period is such an awful thing. I actually feel so much prettier when I am on my period. Yes, I may feel disgusting because of the blood continuously coming from my body, but why would I ignore that this time of the month makes me feel more woman than ever. Why would I ever ignore just a wonderful feeling. Oh the dread.
Do we know what its like to be in a peacefully state of mind or are we all just constantly in chaos?
I like to believe that I know how to have a peaceful mind, even though there is someone quite insane in there. She is only really present when i give her the space to be crazy. Even now speaking of her is giving her too much attention. Her voice, the voice, their voice is not something I think i am capable of living through in this time. I can’t go through the loud impulsive episode at the time. But a little bit of me wants too.
I think that connecting with the world around you is such a beautiful thing. Sitting silently in your living space, playing in the bathroom, or breathing the smooth air from your flourished city. It’s all beautiful if that’s how you choose to see it.
I know if I sit here long enough plenty of more utters would come from me, but I have things to do around my living space that I would hate to be doing.
Leave a Reply